


Peter is Worthy (and Bad at Flirty)

by MsCaptainWinchester (rons_pigwidgeon)



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Peter Parker Can Wield Mjolnir, Peter Parker is Bad at Flirting, Peter Parker is Worthy, Peter Parker is a Mess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-06-09
Packaged: 2020-04-23 05:06:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19144162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rons_pigwidgeon/pseuds/MsCaptainWinchester
Summary: Peter makes bad decisions at Avengers parties. Thor's muscles are too big, and Wade likes to spoil him with the good booze.





	Peter is Worthy (and Bad at Flirty)

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [thelonebamf](https://archiveofourown.org/users/thelonebamf/) for talking through this ridiculous little story with me!
> 
> I do not consent to my stories being listed on Goodreads or other book platforms.

Partying with the Avengers was a bad idea. A terrible idea. Just, the worst idea. At least when he was with the Fantastic Four, Johnny roasted him enough to keep him from trying his worst ideas. But the Avengers? The Avengers made him _stupid_. Peter made _bad_ decisions when he partied at Avengers Tower.

Because _Thor_ was at Avengers Tower. Thor with all his muscles and his amazing accent. And his smile. That smile made Peter turn to jelly. It was a _problem._

Which is why three fancy whiskeys into the night, Peter decided it would be a brilliant idea to try to impress Thor by trying to pick up Mjolnir of all stupid things. He swayed over to the circle of couches Thor was perched on, laughing with Cap, Natasha, and Tony. He dropped down on a web, inserting himself in the middle of their group with a grin through his mask. “What’s up, guys?”

“It’s my little bug friend! I was wondering where you’d gone off to. Come, join us! Drink!” Thor held up his massive mug of beer for Peter, who shook his head and held up the flask he’d been drinking from. Mugs didn’t pair well with ceiling life.

“Way ahead of you. What are you guys talking about?” Peter twirled around on his web and pointed—subtly, he thought—at Mjolnir. “Is that your hammer?” he asked, dropping to the ground.

“It is indeed, little bug.”

“You’re interested in the fancy hammer now?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow at Peter as if he had already caught onto Peter’s game. Peter ignored him.

“It’s magic isn’t it? How cool is that?” he asked, keeping his attention on the hammer.

“It is indeed very cool,” Thor said, self-satisfied and smiley. Peter felt something in his belly flutter.

“So, how do you know if you’re worthy?” Peter asked, crouching on the table over the hammer to get a better look at the leather handle and the runes cast into the hilt.

Thor smiled at him, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Why don’t you try to pick it up and find out?”

“Can I?” Peter reached out a hand for the handle, a buzz of excitement sparking down his spine.

“By all means.” Thor swept his hand towards the hammer with a twinkle in his eyes. Behind Peter, Tony snorted.

“Don’t strain your back, Webs. We already went a round with it and got our asses kicked.”

“Let the tiny spider try it, Stark. He might surprise you.”

Peter wrapped his hands around the handle and braced himself for the strain, aware of Thor’s eyes sliding down his body. He should probably have been resentful of getting called tiny, but by a guy like Thor…

Peter’s thoughts were derailed by the lack of resistance when he pulled at the hammer. He put so much effort into the attempt to lift it that he flipped completely backwards with the hammer loose in his hands when it gave him no resistance. He stumbled back several steps behind Tony’s chair, staring at the weapon in his hands. It felt like it weighed nothing. “Holy shit,” he muttered under his breath. Then he grinned, realizing what Mjolnir in his hand meant, and lifted it above his head triumphantly. “Holy shit!”

Thor didn’t look intimidated in the slightest. He set his drink down where the hammer had been resting and began clapping, grin stretching his mouth wide. “Fantastic! I always thought it would be Rogers, but this is a delightful turn of events.”

“You what? Why not me?” Tony asked, whipping around from gaping at Peter to look at Thor with offense.

Thor gave him an incredulous look. “Please, Stark.”

“You thought it would be me?” Cap asked, looking surprised.

Peter was too distracted by the fact that all other eyes were on him. He let the hammer fall to his side, feeling self-conscious with so many supers staring at him. He slowly crossed back to the table and tried to lay Mjolnir back on the table, but ended up tripping over Natasha’s foot and dropping the hammer hard on the ground. He popped up the next second and backed away, unable to look anyone in the eye.

“That could have gone better,” came a voice from behind him when he’d successfully managed to slip into the kitchen and out of general view.

Peter whipped around to find Deadpool leaning back against the counter, a giant éclair in his hand and his mask rolled up to his nose. Peter narrowed his eyes, stomped over, and took the éclair from his hands. “Shut up,” he muttered, lifting his own mask up to take a bite of flaky crust, creamy filling, and chocolatey goodness. He melted into Wade’s side with a happy groan.

“You looked pretty hot holding that hammer, though, baby boy. Almost as hot as when you hold my—“

“You finish that sentence and I won’t be holding anything of yours for a good long while. I just made an idiot of myself in front of everyone. I need comfort, not bad come-ons,” Peter told him, leaning into his chest as he munched on the éclair.

“I could fill you with some more creamy—“

“Wade.”

“Next time, I’ll try for a threesome with the Norse god, hmm? You can stay in bed and look enticing.” Wade pressed a kiss to his temple, hand slipping around to cradle Peter’s lower back. Peter grunted agreement, belly still fluttering with embarrassment.

“But it was pretty cool, right? I’m worthy of Thor’s Hammer. I could be the King of Asgard if I wanted.”

“I think you’d have to beat the big buy at arm wrestling, but you’d look real cute in a toga.”

“They don’t wear togas.”

“Tell that to their tailors.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you want writing updates from me, you can follow me on Twitter [@RonsPigwidgeon](https://twitter.com/RonsPigwidgeon), [Tumblr](https://mscaptainwinchester.tumblr.com/), [NewTumbl](https://mscaptainwinchester.newtumbl.com/), or [Pillowfort](https://www.pillowfort.io/MsCaptainWinchester).
> 
> And if you'd like to come yell about Spideypool with me, join the 18+ Discord server I co-mod, [Isn't It Bromantic](https://discord.gg/cfZEbNv)!


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